Rachael's Mission

Mexico Torreon Mission October 2015 - April 2017

Rachael's Picture

Rachael's Picture

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Week 5 (A Momentary Missionary Meltdown)

This week was a little crazy and bumpy.

Wednesday: If you remember we found out that Hermana Smith (name changed) would be leaving. Everyone was very sad. After receiving this news, we left for dinner and stopped to talk to someone. Meanwhile, the Elders shut the door and turned off the lights. We happened to turn around, looked inside the room, and saw the Elders kneeling in a circle and praying. We immediately teared up when we discovered that the Elders had fasted all day for Hermana Smith. They fasted despite the fact that it was P-Day and had played basketball for three hours. It was the most touching thing I've ever seen a group of Elders do. We all need to be more kind and thoughtful in our lives. Everyone needs help at some point.

Thursday: Hermana Smith left today. She bore her testimony to us for our morning Devotional. The waterworks started all over again! Next, Hermana Knudsen and I were supposed to teach the Book of Mormon class but Hermano Sanchez forgot to tell us! So, we literally prepared a lesson in ten minutes on Alma 34. I encourage you to read and study this chapter because it is amazing! By the end of our lesson almost everyone was crying. I'm not sure if it was just that good or the fact that Hermana Smith was leaving had affected our emotions. Hopefully a mixture of both! :) The time came to say goodbye to Hermana Smith. She said goodbye to the Elders in the classroom and then we walked with her to get her luggage and then to the reception area. There were more tears as she left and we went off to lunch. Everyone at lunch came to give us hugs which made us feel better but then the crying started all over again. My eyes were red all day! That night, Herman Robertson, Knudsen and I taught our first lesson together. It was different and hard to get a good balance, but better than I expected. I'm so grateful that the four of us were all such good friends, so it was easy to bring Hermana Robertson into our companionship. We love her so much!

Friday: A blur...

Saturday: I must have had my memories erased because I don't really remember this day either. However, I do remember we received a letter from Hermana Smith. The reason she went home was related to what she had done with her boyfriend. She told us that she arrived home to find out that he had a new girlfriend. She's finding out all sorts of things about him that she never knew. She almost stayed home and married him! What a close call! It is so important that we really know the true character of whoever we are dating or marrying. It is hard, but essential. A temple sealing is the way that we can one day reach exaltation and who we choose will affect our potential. I believe it was a blessing in disguise that she went home and now knows what kind of person he is. She deserves much better! We are all hopeful that she will come back out and finish her mission!

Sunday: Well, like I've said before, Sundays are always the best! One of the highlights was our district meeting. President and Hermana Harsten came to our meeting with their grandson. (He is here with them because he doesn't want to serve a mission. They are hoping he will see how great it is by being here.) We had an amazing discussion about the Holy Ghost. We talked about how the Sons of Mosiah prayed for only a PORTION of the Spirit and how our PORTION has increased as we have been here! Can you imagine what you could do with the FULLNESS of the Spirit? We also talked about when we look back in our lives we can see the small chains that Satan slowly puts around us to drag us down. It is so essential that we have the spirit with us at all times so that we can see these chains and quickly free ourselves of them.

Monday: We played kickball today. There are only two sports elders and sisters are allowed to play together and this is one of them! We had a blast! The rest of the day was the usual... study, talk, laugh, teach. We did have a cake for Hermana Robertson's birthday!

Tuesday: Pizza day! This is always a joyous time! We love pizza day here at the CCM. Today was my last pizza day and I'm sad.

So, on Monday, I had a bit of a meltdown. I will be honest. A mission is NOT EASY! If anyone has said it is all sunshine and roses they are lying or not doing it right. I was stressed about leaving and teaching. I was doubting myself and my abilities. I know none of it is true but that is how Satan works. He finds the tiniest opening and he takes it! He is after all of us and will do anything in his power to drag us down! He will fill our heads with troubling thoughts, doubts, and negative ideas about ourselves. He knows us. He was our brother. He knows our weaknesses and uses them to bring us down. However, we have power over Satan. The only time he has power is when we give it to him. Otherwise he is powerless. To be honest I'm not a perfect missionary-not in the least. But that is why Heavenly Father sends such young missionaries because we are humble . We are not all knowing or eloquent. But we can bear testimony of what we do know. The simple truths that are engraved in our hearts. We are not here to be perfect but to give a perfect effort and to BECOME PERFECTED through our Savior Jesus Christ and His Atonement. In the temple, they never expect us to be perfect; they only expect us to be faithful. When we are faithful, we will give a perfect effort. I know that I will not be perfect on my mission, but I can sure give a perfect effort and I know that Christ's grace will make up for the rest. Something else I've realized since I've been here... I am closer to Christ and have therefore begun to see myself through His eyes. Before I came here, I would have very negative thoughts about myself such as, "You are ugly, or fat, or not spiritual enough for a mission or not good enough or smart enough." These thoughts would drag me down and I would try to get rid of them but it was hard. They were like flies that would never leave me alone! As I've been here, I have begun to see more through His eyes (Listen to Prince of Egypt-Heaven's Eyes) I have started to see that I am a beautiful person, I am smart, I am funny. I do have the capacity to be a great missionary and I CAN make a difference here! It is amazing to see the difference in my mental thoughts! I know this is how God sees me! He loves me! We need to look at ourselves not through the eyes of the world but through the eyes of our loving Heavenly Father!

I love you all so much! I hope you have a wonderful week! Give your PERFECT effort!


Hermana Lutze

Studying at the CCM

Doodling in the CCM

Hermanas Knudsen, Robertson, and Lutze

Happy Birthday Hermana Robertson

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